In November 2005, a rare kind of breast cancer was found. A lady developed a rash on her breast, similar to that of young mothers who are nursing.
Because her mammogram had been clear, the doctor treated her with antibiotics for infections. After 2 rounds, it continued to get worse, so her doctor sent her for another mammogram. This time it showed a mass.
A biopsy found a fast growing malignancy. Chemo was started in order to shrink the growth; then a mastectomy was performed; then a full round of Chemo; then radiation. After about 9 months of intense treatment, she was given a clean bill of health.
She had one year of living each day to its fullest. Then the cancer returned to the liver area. She took 4 treatments and decided that she wanted quality of life, not the after effects of Chemo. She had 5 great months and she planned each detail of the final days. After a few days of needing morphine, she died.
She left this message to be delivered to women everywhere:
"Women, PLEASE be alert to anything that is not normal, and be persistent in getting help as soon as possible.
Paget's Disease: This is a rare form of breast cancer, and is on the outside of the breast, on the nipple and aureole It appeared as a rash, which later became a lesion with a crusty outer edge. I would not have ever suspected it to be breast cancer but it was. My nipple never seemed any different to me, but the rash bothered me, so I went to the doctor for that. Sometimes, it itched and was sore, but other than that it didn't bother me. It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could not be cleared up with all the creams prescribed by my doctor and dermatologist for the dermatitis on my eyes just prior to this outbreak. They seemed a little concerned but did not warn me it could be cancerous.
Now, I suspect not many women out there know a lesion or rash on the nipple or aureole can be breast cancer. Mine started out as a single red pimple on the aureole. One of the biggest problems with Paget's disease of the nipple is that the symptoms appear to be harmless. It is frequently thought to be a skin inflammation or infection, leading to unfortunate de lays in detection and care. What are the symptoms?
1. A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting of your nipple causing it to itch and burn (As I stated, mine did not itch or burn much, and had no oozing I was aware of, but it did have a crust along the outer edge on one side.)
2. A sore on your nipple that will not heal. (Mine was on the aureole area with a whitish thick looking area in center of nipple).
3. Usually only one nipple is effected. How is it diagnosed? Your doctor will do a physical exam and should suggest having a mammogram of both breasts, done immediately. Even though the redness, oozing and crusting closely resemble dermatitis (inflammation of the skin), your doctor should suspect cancer if the sore is only on one breast. Your doctor should order a biopsy of your sore to confirm what is going on.
This message should be taken seriously and passed on to as many of your relatives and friends as possible; it could save someone's life.
My breast cancer has spread and metastasized to my bones after receiving mega doses of chemotherapy, 28 treatments of radiation and taking Tamaxofin. If this had been diagnosed as breast cancer in the beginning, perhaps it would not have spread..."
TO ALL READERS:
This is sad as women are not aware of Paget's disease. If, by passing this around, we can make others aware of it and its potential danger, we are helping women everywhere. Please, if you can, take a moment to forward this message to as many people as possible, especially to your family and friends. It only takes a moment, yet the results could save a life
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Very Touching.... A guys LoVe !!!!!
____________________________________
The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he love you. he only knew that, in his eyes, you are the only one.
The guy who loves you, actually always make you mad, but he do never know what stupid thing did he done, as everything he done, is for your own good.
The guy who loves you, seldom praise you, but in his heart, you are the best, only he know it.
The guy who loves you, will scold or complaint if you didn't reply his message but others, because he cares.
The guy who loves you , Only drop his tears in front of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beat for you.
The guy who loves you, will remember every word u said , even its accidentally. and he will use the word always at the nick of time.
The guy who loves you, will not give any promise that easily, because they don't want to break the promise, they want you to believe him and they want to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.
The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because they already plan it for you, he want to give u the best life in the future, he want to give you a surprise, believe him that he can do it.
The guy who loves you, maybe can't remember special occasion like some kind of anniversary, but he do know that, every second he live, he’s loving you, no matter what day is today.
The guy who loves you, won't said " i love you” that easily, because everything he done for you is showing that he love you already, but only he will tell the word at the special situation, because he dun wan u to misunderstand, he want u to know that he loves you.
The guy who really loves you, will feel that, sometimes, something have to tell for only once, because he thought that u might already understand him, if talk so much, he will feel that there’s nothing you will cherish.
The guy who loves you, will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. But he will carry your luggage and ask you " why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.
The boy who loves you, will listen quietly to you, when you are mad, and when you finished, he will said, you still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier .with smile.
The boy who loves you, don't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will sent a message to you after few hours, if you ask him why he call that late, he will said, when you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works.
The boy who loves you, always call you little girl, but every time he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.
The guy who loves you, don't like little toy like teddy bear, but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bed.
The guy who loves you, while quarrelling, he will apologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who’s wrong, and later, he will sent a message to you with " baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it your self ".
The guy who loves you, while really misses you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment. But he never knows, what he bought is daisy, but doesn’t matter, because in his heart, that's roses.
The guy who loves you, seldom said sweet words, but you know, his kisses already transfer his all passion to you.
The guy who loves you, if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.
GALs in crush, love, do you think the guy who's beside you really do loves you? If yes, wish you have the happiest day ever after.
@~~>~~~@~>~~~~@~~~>~~~~@~~>~~@~>~~~~@~~~>~~@~~>~~~~~
The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he love you. he only knew that, in his eyes, you are the only one.
The guy who loves you, actually always make you mad, but he do never know what stupid thing did he done, as everything he done, is for your own good.
The guy who loves you, seldom praise you, but in his heart, you are the best, only he know it.
The guy who loves you, will scold or complaint if you didn't reply his message but others, because he cares.
The guy who loves you , Only drop his tears in front of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beat for you.
The guy who loves you, will remember every word u said , even its accidentally. and he will use the word always at the nick of time.
The guy who loves you, will not give any promise that easily, because they don't want to break the promise, they want you to believe him and they want to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.
The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because they already plan it for you, he want to give u the best life in the future, he want to give you a surprise, believe him that he can do it.
The guy who loves you, maybe can't remember special occasion like some kind of anniversary, but he do know that, every second he live, he’s loving you, no matter what day is today.
The guy who loves you, won't said " i love you” that easily, because everything he done for you is showing that he love you already, but only he will tell the word at the special situation, because he dun wan u to misunderstand, he want u to know that he loves you.
The guy who really loves you, will feel that, sometimes, something have to tell for only once, because he thought that u might already understand him, if talk so much, he will feel that there’s nothing you will cherish.
The guy who loves you, will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. But he will carry your luggage and ask you " why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.
The boy who loves you, will listen quietly to you, when you are mad, and when you finished, he will said, you still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier .with smile.
The boy who loves you, don't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will sent a message to you after few hours, if you ask him why he call that late, he will said, when you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works.
The boy who loves you, always call you little girl, but every time he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.
The guy who loves you, don't like little toy like teddy bear, but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bed.
The guy who loves you, while quarrelling, he will apologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who’s wrong, and later, he will sent a message to you with " baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it your self ".
The guy who loves you, while really misses you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment. But he never knows, what he bought is daisy, but doesn’t matter, because in his heart, that's roses.
The guy who loves you, seldom said sweet words, but you know, his kisses already transfer his all passion to you.
The guy who loves you, if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.
GALs in crush, love, do you think the guy who's beside you really do loves you? If yes, wish you have the happiest day ever after.
@~~>~~~@~>~~~~@~~~>~~~~@~~>~~@~>~~~~@~~~>~~@~~>~~~~~
When I said I LOVE U!!!
When U R only 5 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U asked me: What is it?
When U R 15 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U blushed... U look down and smile...
When U R 20 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U put your head on my shoulder and hold my hand... Afraid that I might disappear...
When U R 25 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U prepare breakfast and serve it in front of me, and kiss my forehead said: U better be quick, it's gonna be late
When U R 30 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U said: if u really love me, please come back early after work.
When U R 40 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U r cleaning the dining table and said: ok dear, but it's time for u to help our child with his/her revision...
When U R 50 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U r knitting and u laugh at me :-D
When U R 60 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U smile at me :-)
When U R 70 yrs old. I said I Love U.
We sit on the rocking chair with our glasses on. I'm reading your love Letter that u sent to me 50 yrs ago... With our hand crossing together...
When U R 80 yrs old, U said U Love Me!
I didn't say anything but cried... That day must be the happiest day of my life! Because U said U Love Me!!!
Please appreciate your loved ones…. say "I Love You" to them today!
[I Love You] means really care for you... say it out but not to expect the return or anything....
[I Love You] is said because there is a pure thought. That was hoping this magical 3 words could bring you happiness and futurity...and because of having such pure thoughts... ppl that have true heart to a person to gives out all his/her courage to tell: I Love You
*Appreciate this words for it speaks and reveals the truth of a person. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
U asked me: What is it?
When U R 15 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U blushed... U look down and smile...
When U R 20 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U put your head on my shoulder and hold my hand... Afraid that I might disappear...
When U R 25 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U prepare breakfast and serve it in front of me, and kiss my forehead said: U better be quick, it's gonna be late
When U R 30 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U said: if u really love me, please come back early after work.
When U R 40 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U r cleaning the dining table and said: ok dear, but it's time for u to help our child with his/her revision...
When U R 50 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U r knitting and u laugh at me :-D
When U R 60 yrs old, I said I Love U.
U smile at me :-)
When U R 70 yrs old. I said I Love U.
We sit on the rocking chair with our glasses on. I'm reading your love Letter that u sent to me 50 yrs ago... With our hand crossing together...
When U R 80 yrs old, U said U Love Me!
I didn't say anything but cried... That day must be the happiest day of my life! Because U said U Love Me!!!
Please appreciate your loved ones…. say "I Love You" to them today!
[I Love You] means really care for you... say it out but not to expect the return or anything....
[I Love You] is said because there is a pure thought. That was hoping this magical 3 words could bring you happiness and futurity...and because of having such pure thoughts... ppl that have true heart to a person to gives out all his/her courage to tell: I Love You
*Appreciate this words for it speaks and reveals the truth of a person. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
各國的離婚規定
這是什麼鬼規定？ 看來先進國家手續簡便多了。
日本：
如果丈夫認為妻子睡覺姿勢不好看，就可以提出離婚申請。
(幹嘛半夜不睡覺，看妻子的睡姿啊....)
義大利：
妻子不幹家務或不愛幹家務，丈夫便可以提出離婚出請。
(打死都不能嫁到義大利....)
阿富汗：
如果女方提出離婚，那麼她再嫁人時，她的再婚丈夫要付給前夫兩倍當年
婚禮費用；如果是男方提出離婚，女方重新嫁人時，新郎丈夫則要
和數償還前夫與妻子當年的婚禮費用。
(真貴。)
英國：
夫妻雙方只有一方可以提出離婚，如果雙方都提出離婚，則不准離婚。
(這....什麼跟什麼..........)
黎巴嫩：
在傳統的家庭中，女人出門前先要徵得丈夫的同意。
如果有朝一日不想要妻子，待妻子出門前徵求他的意見時，
他只需說「快去，別回家了」，便由此宣告離婚。
(鴦：可不可以也這樣對丈夫說？)
多哥：
男女雙方感情破裂，便到當地部門申請，
並各自請管理人員將頭髮剃去一半，將剃下來的頭髮互相交換。
(幹嘛？拿去做法？)
薩爾瓦多：
夫妻感情一互破裂，可到當地管理處申請登記，
然後購買一頭牛，宰殺後請雙方親戚朋友前來聚餐一頓。
餐畢，夫妻雙方面面相視，各自用手打對方十記耳光，
美其名曰：記住最後的痛苦，
這樣就宣布離了婚。
(太狠了吧！)
厄瓜多爾：
夫妻反目離婚，皆要絕食三天。
到第四天早晨，到該地一位年長者處
接受「檢驗」是否真的有氣無力，
如果真的，分手也是真的；
如果是假的，這位年長者會下令：
永遠不准離。
(又不是在減肥。)
日本：
如果丈夫認為妻子睡覺姿勢不好看，就可以提出離婚申請。
(幹嘛半夜不睡覺，看妻子的睡姿啊....)
義大利：
妻子不幹家務或不愛幹家務，丈夫便可以提出離婚出請。
(打死都不能嫁到義大利....)
阿富汗：
如果女方提出離婚，那麼她再嫁人時，她的再婚丈夫要付給前夫兩倍當年
婚禮費用；如果是男方提出離婚，女方重新嫁人時，新郎丈夫則要
和數償還前夫與妻子當年的婚禮費用。
(真貴。)
英國：
夫妻雙方只有一方可以提出離婚，如果雙方都提出離婚，則不准離婚。
(這....什麼跟什麼..........)
黎巴嫩：
在傳統的家庭中，女人出門前先要徵得丈夫的同意。
如果有朝一日不想要妻子，待妻子出門前徵求他的意見時，
他只需說「快去，別回家了」，便由此宣告離婚。
(鴦：可不可以也這樣對丈夫說？)
多哥：
男女雙方感情破裂，便到當地部門申請，
並各自請管理人員將頭髮剃去一半，將剃下來的頭髮互相交換。
(幹嘛？拿去做法？)
薩爾瓦多：
夫妻感情一互破裂，可到當地管理處申請登記，
然後購買一頭牛，宰殺後請雙方親戚朋友前來聚餐一頓。
餐畢，夫妻雙方面面相視，各自用手打對方十記耳光，
美其名曰：記住最後的痛苦，
這樣就宣布離了婚。
(太狠了吧！)
厄瓜多爾：
夫妻反目離婚，皆要絕食三天。
到第四天早晨，到該地一位年長者處
接受「檢驗」是否真的有氣無力，
如果真的，分手也是真的；
如果是假的，這位年長者會下令：
永遠不准離。
(又不是在減肥。)
心情不好時，是「誰」的事！
一件是「自己的事」，諸如：
上不上班、吃什麼東西、開不開心、結不結婚、要不要幫助人 ....
自己能安排的皆屬之。
一件是「別人的事」，諸如：
小張好吃懶做、小陳婚姻不幸福、老陳對我很不滿意、我幫助別人，別人卻不感激.....
別人在主導的事情皆屬之。
一件是「老天爺的事」，諸如：
會不會颳風、地震、戰爭、開悟、成道......
人能力範圍以外的事情，都屬於老天爺的管轄範圍。
人的煩惱就是來自於：
忘了自己的事，愛管別人的事，擔心老天爺的事 .....
所以要輕鬆自在很簡單：
打理好「自己的事」，
不去管「別人的事」，
不操心「老天爺的事」
這只是靜心在「哲學」上的詮釋，知道並不代表你能辦到。
除非你能進入「靜心狀態」去「觀照」，你就會「如實」發現....
天底下真的只有這三件事：「自己的事」、「別人的事」、「老天爺的事」
下次心情不好時，趕快問自己，那件事到底是「誰」的事！
上不上班、吃什麼東西、開不開心、結不結婚、要不要幫助人 ....
自己能安排的皆屬之。
一件是「別人的事」，諸如：
小張好吃懶做、小陳婚姻不幸福、老陳對我很不滿意、我幫助別人，別人卻不感激.....
別人在主導的事情皆屬之。
一件是「老天爺的事」，諸如：
會不會颳風、地震、戰爭、開悟、成道......
人能力範圍以外的事情，都屬於老天爺的管轄範圍。
人的煩惱就是來自於：
忘了自己的事，愛管別人的事，擔心老天爺的事 .....
所以要輕鬆自在很簡單：
打理好「自己的事」，
不去管「別人的事」，
不操心「老天爺的事」
這只是靜心在「哲學」上的詮釋，知道並不代表你能辦到。
除非你能進入「靜心狀態」去「觀照」，你就會「如實」發現....
天底下真的只有這三件事：「自己的事」、「別人的事」、「老天爺的事」
下次心情不好時，趕快問自己，那件事到底是「誰」的事！
謹以此文獻給像我一樣流浪在外的子女們
遊蕩了這麼多年，從東到西，又從北到南，一年又一年，我在長大，知識在增加，世界在變小，家鄉的母親在變老。
二十一年前母親把我送上了火車，從那以後，我一刻也沒有停止探索這個世界，二十年裡，從北京到上海，從廣州到香港，從紐約到華盛頓，從南美到南非，從倫敦到雪梨，我遊蕩過五十多個國家，在十幾個城市生活和工作過。
每到一個地方，從裡到外，就得改變自己以適應新的環境，而唯一不變的是心中對母親的思念。IP電話卡出現後，我才有能力常常從國外給母親打電話，電話中母親興奮不已的聲音總能讓我更加輕鬆地面對生活中的艱難和挑戰。然而也有讓我不安的地方，那就是我感覺到母親的聲音一次比一次蒼老。過去兩年裡，母親每次電話中總是反覆叮囑：好好再外面生活，不要擔心我，一定要照顧好自己，不要想著回來，回來很花錢，又對你的工作和事業不好，不要想著我……說得越來越囉嗦，囉嗦得讓我心疼，我知道，母親想我了。
母親今年七十五歲。
我毅然決定放下手頭的一切工作，擱下心裡的一切計劃，扣下腦袋裡的一切想法，回國回家去陪伴母親一個月。這一個月裡，什麼也不幹，什麼也不想，只是陪伴母親。
從我打電話告訴母親的那一天開始到我回到家，有兩個月零八天，後來我知道，母親放下電話後，就拿出一個小本本，然後給自己擬定了一個計劃，她要為我回家做準備。那兩個月裡母親把我喜歡吃的菜都準備好，把我小時候喜歡蓋的被子「筒」好，還要為我準備在家裡穿的衣服……這一切對於一個行動不方便的，患有輕微老年癡呆症的75歲的母親來說是多麼的不容易，你肯定無法體會。直到我回去的前一天，母親才自豪地告訴鄰居：總算準備好了。
我回到了家。在飛機上，我很想見到母親的時候擁抱她一下，但見面後我並沒有這樣做。母親站在那裡，像一隻風乾的劈柴，臉上的皺紋讓我怎麼也想不起以前母親的樣子。
母親花了整個整個的小時準備菜，她準備的都是我以前最喜歡的。但是我知道，我早就不再喜歡我以前喜歡的菜。而且母親由於眼睛看不清，味覺的變化，做的菜都是鹹一碗，淡一碗的。母親為我準備的被子是新棉花墊的，厚厚的像席夢思，我一點也不習慣，我早就用空調被子和羊毛被了。但我都沒有說出來。我是回來陪伴母親的。
開始兩天母親忙找張羅來張羅去，沒有時間坐下來，後來有時間坐下來了，母親就開始囉嗦了。母親開始給我講人生的大道理，只是這些大道理是幾十年前母親反覆講過的。後來母親還講，而且開始對照這些道理來檢討我的生活和工作。於是我開始耐心地告訴媽媽，那些道理過時了。於是母親就會癡呆呆地坐在那裡。
情況變得越來越糟糕。我發現母親由於身體特別是眼睛不好，做飯時不講衛生，飯菜裡經常混進蟲子蒼蠅，飯菜掉在灶台上，她又會撿進碗裡，於是我婉轉地告訴母親，我們到外面吃一點。母親馬上告訴我，外面吃不乾淨，假東西多。我又告訴母親，想為她請一個保姆，母親生氣地一拐一拐在房間裡辟啪辟啪地走，說她自己還可以去給人家當保姆。我無話可說。我要去逛街，母親一定要去，結果我們一個上午都沒有走到商場。
每當我們討論一些事情的時候，母親總以為兒子已經誤入歧途，而我也開始不客氣地告訴母親，時代進步了，不要再用老眼光看東西。
和母親在一起的下半個月，我越來越多地打斷母親的話，越來越多的感到不耐煩，但我們從來沒有爭吵，因為每當我提高聲音或者打斷母親的話，她都一下子停下來，沉默不語，眼睛裡有迷茫——母親的老年癡呆症越來越嚴重了。
我要走前，母親從床底下吃力地拉出一個小紙箱，打開來，取出厚厚的一疊剪報。原來我出國後，母親開始關心國外的事情，為此他還專門訂了份《參考消息》，每當她看到國外發生的一些排華辱華事件，又或者出現嚴重的治安問題，她就會小心地把它們剪下來，放好。她要等我回來，一起交給我。她常常說，出門在外，要小心。幾天前鄰居告訴我，母親在家看一曲日本人欺負中國華人的電視劇，在家哭了起來，第二天到處打聽怎麼樣子才能帶消息到日本。那時我正在日本講學。
母親吃力地把那捆剪報搬出來，好像寶貝一樣交到我手裡，沉甸甸的，我為難了，我不可能帶這些走，何況這些也沒有什麼用處，可是母親剪這些資料下來的艱難也只有我知道，母親看報必須使用放大鏡，她一天可以看完兩個版面就不錯了，要剪這麼大一捆資料，可想而知。我正在為難，這時那一捆剪報裡飄落下一片紙片。我想去撿起來，沒有想到，母親竟然先撿了起來。只是她並沒有放進我手裡的這捆剪報裡，而是小心地收進了自己的口袋。
「媽媽，那一張剪報是什麼？給我看一下。」我問。
母親猶豫了一下，把那張小剪報放在那一疊剪報上面，轉身到廚房準備晚餐去了。
我拿起小剪報，發現是一篇小文章，題目是「當我老了」，旁邊的日期是《參考消息》2004年12月6日（正是我開始越來越多打斷母親的話，對母親不耐煩的時候）。文章擇選自墨西哥《數字家庭》十一月號。我一口氣讀完這篇短文：當我老了
當我老了，不再是原來的我。請理解我，對我有一點耐心。
當我把菜湯灑到自己的衣服上時，當我忘記怎樣繫鞋帶時，請想一想當初我是如何手把手地教你。
當我一遍又一遍地重複你早已聽膩的話語，請耐心地聽我說，不要打斷我。你小的時候，我不得不重複那個講過千百遍的故事，直到你進入夢鄉。
當我需要你幫我洗澡時，請不要責備我。還記得小時候我千方百計哄你洗澡的情形嗎？
當我對新科技和新事物不知所措時，請不要嘲笑我。想一想當初我怎樣耐心地回答你的每一個「為什麼」。
當我由於雙腿疲勞而無法行走時，請伸出你年輕有力的手攙扶我。就像你小時候學習走路時，我扶你那樣。
當我忽然忘記我們談話的主題，請給我一些時間讓我回想。其實對我來說，談論什麼並不重要，只要你能在一旁聽我說，我就很滿足。
當你看著老去的我，請不要悲傷。理解我，支持我，就像你剛才開始學習如何生活時我對你那樣。
當初我引導你走上人生路，如今請陪伴我走完最後的路。給我你的愛和耐心，我會抱以感激的微笑，這微笑中凝結著我對你無限的愛。
一口氣讀完，我差一點忍不住流下眼淚，這時母親走出來，我假裝什麼也沒有發生，母親原本是要我帶走後回到海外自己再看到這片剪報的。我隨手把那篇文章放在這一捆剪報裡。然後把我的箱子打開，我留下了一套昂貴的西裝，才把剪報塞進去。我看到母親特別高興，彷彿那些剪報是護身符，又彷彿我接受了母親的剪報，就又變成了一個好孩子。母親一直把我送上出租車。
那捆剪報真的沒有什麼用處，但那篇「當我老了」的小紙片從此以後會伴隨我……
二十一年前母親把我送上了火車，從那以後，我一刻也沒有停止探索這個世界，二十年裡，從北京到上海，從廣州到香港，從紐約到華盛頓，從南美到南非，從倫敦到雪梨，我遊蕩過五十多個國家，在十幾個城市生活和工作過。
每到一個地方，從裡到外，就得改變自己以適應新的環境，而唯一不變的是心中對母親的思念。IP電話卡出現後，我才有能力常常從國外給母親打電話，電話中母親興奮不已的聲音總能讓我更加輕鬆地面對生活中的艱難和挑戰。然而也有讓我不安的地方，那就是我感覺到母親的聲音一次比一次蒼老。過去兩年裡，母親每次電話中總是反覆叮囑：好好再外面生活，不要擔心我，一定要照顧好自己，不要想著回來，回來很花錢，又對你的工作和事業不好，不要想著我……說得越來越囉嗦，囉嗦得讓我心疼，我知道，母親想我了。
母親今年七十五歲。
我毅然決定放下手頭的一切工作，擱下心裡的一切計劃，扣下腦袋裡的一切想法，回國回家去陪伴母親一個月。這一個月裡，什麼也不幹，什麼也不想，只是陪伴母親。
從我打電話告訴母親的那一天開始到我回到家，有兩個月零八天，後來我知道，母親放下電話後，就拿出一個小本本，然後給自己擬定了一個計劃，她要為我回家做準備。那兩個月裡母親把我喜歡吃的菜都準備好，把我小時候喜歡蓋的被子「筒」好，還要為我準備在家裡穿的衣服……這一切對於一個行動不方便的，患有輕微老年癡呆症的75歲的母親來說是多麼的不容易，你肯定無法體會。直到我回去的前一天，母親才自豪地告訴鄰居：總算準備好了。
我回到了家。在飛機上，我很想見到母親的時候擁抱她一下，但見面後我並沒有這樣做。母親站在那裡，像一隻風乾的劈柴，臉上的皺紋讓我怎麼也想不起以前母親的樣子。
母親花了整個整個的小時準備菜，她準備的都是我以前最喜歡的。但是我知道，我早就不再喜歡我以前喜歡的菜。而且母親由於眼睛看不清，味覺的變化，做的菜都是鹹一碗，淡一碗的。母親為我準備的被子是新棉花墊的，厚厚的像席夢思，我一點也不習慣，我早就用空調被子和羊毛被了。但我都沒有說出來。我是回來陪伴母親的。
開始兩天母親忙找張羅來張羅去，沒有時間坐下來，後來有時間坐下來了，母親就開始囉嗦了。母親開始給我講人生的大道理，只是這些大道理是幾十年前母親反覆講過的。後來母親還講，而且開始對照這些道理來檢討我的生活和工作。於是我開始耐心地告訴媽媽，那些道理過時了。於是母親就會癡呆呆地坐在那裡。
情況變得越來越糟糕。我發現母親由於身體特別是眼睛不好，做飯時不講衛生，飯菜裡經常混進蟲子蒼蠅，飯菜掉在灶台上，她又會撿進碗裡，於是我婉轉地告訴母親，我們到外面吃一點。母親馬上告訴我，外面吃不乾淨，假東西多。我又告訴母親，想為她請一個保姆，母親生氣地一拐一拐在房間裡辟啪辟啪地走，說她自己還可以去給人家當保姆。我無話可說。我要去逛街，母親一定要去，結果我們一個上午都沒有走到商場。
每當我們討論一些事情的時候，母親總以為兒子已經誤入歧途，而我也開始不客氣地告訴母親，時代進步了，不要再用老眼光看東西。
和母親在一起的下半個月，我越來越多地打斷母親的話，越來越多的感到不耐煩，但我們從來沒有爭吵，因為每當我提高聲音或者打斷母親的話，她都一下子停下來，沉默不語，眼睛裡有迷茫——母親的老年癡呆症越來越嚴重了。
我要走前，母親從床底下吃力地拉出一個小紙箱，打開來，取出厚厚的一疊剪報。原來我出國後，母親開始關心國外的事情，為此他還專門訂了份《參考消息》，每當她看到國外發生的一些排華辱華事件，又或者出現嚴重的治安問題，她就會小心地把它們剪下來，放好。她要等我回來，一起交給我。她常常說，出門在外，要小心。幾天前鄰居告訴我，母親在家看一曲日本人欺負中國華人的電視劇，在家哭了起來，第二天到處打聽怎麼樣子才能帶消息到日本。那時我正在日本講學。
母親吃力地把那捆剪報搬出來，好像寶貝一樣交到我手裡，沉甸甸的，我為難了，我不可能帶這些走，何況這些也沒有什麼用處，可是母親剪這些資料下來的艱難也只有我知道，母親看報必須使用放大鏡，她一天可以看完兩個版面就不錯了，要剪這麼大一捆資料，可想而知。我正在為難，這時那一捆剪報裡飄落下一片紙片。我想去撿起來，沒有想到，母親竟然先撿了起來。只是她並沒有放進我手裡的這捆剪報裡，而是小心地收進了自己的口袋。
「媽媽，那一張剪報是什麼？給我看一下。」我問。
母親猶豫了一下，把那張小剪報放在那一疊剪報上面，轉身到廚房準備晚餐去了。
我拿起小剪報，發現是一篇小文章，題目是「當我老了」，旁邊的日期是《參考消息》2004年12月6日（正是我開始越來越多打斷母親的話，對母親不耐煩的時候）。文章擇選自墨西哥《數字家庭》十一月號。我一口氣讀完這篇短文：當我老了
當我老了，不再是原來的我。請理解我，對我有一點耐心。
當我把菜湯灑到自己的衣服上時，當我忘記怎樣繫鞋帶時，請想一想當初我是如何手把手地教你。
當我一遍又一遍地重複你早已聽膩的話語，請耐心地聽我說，不要打斷我。你小的時候，我不得不重複那個講過千百遍的故事，直到你進入夢鄉。
當我需要你幫我洗澡時，請不要責備我。還記得小時候我千方百計哄你洗澡的情形嗎？
當我對新科技和新事物不知所措時，請不要嘲笑我。想一想當初我怎樣耐心地回答你的每一個「為什麼」。
當我由於雙腿疲勞而無法行走時，請伸出你年輕有力的手攙扶我。就像你小時候學習走路時，我扶你那樣。
當我忽然忘記我們談話的主題，請給我一些時間讓我回想。其實對我來說，談論什麼並不重要，只要你能在一旁聽我說，我就很滿足。
當你看著老去的我，請不要悲傷。理解我，支持我，就像你剛才開始學習如何生活時我對你那樣。
當初我引導你走上人生路，如今請陪伴我走完最後的路。給我你的愛和耐心，我會抱以感激的微笑，這微笑中凝結著我對你無限的愛。
一口氣讀完，我差一點忍不住流下眼淚，這時母親走出來，我假裝什麼也沒有發生，母親原本是要我帶走後回到海外自己再看到這片剪報的。我隨手把那篇文章放在這一捆剪報裡。然後把我的箱子打開，我留下了一套昂貴的西裝，才把剪報塞進去。我看到母親特別高興，彷彿那些剪報是護身符，又彷彿我接受了母親的剪報，就又變成了一個好孩子。母親一直把我送上出租車。
那捆剪報真的沒有什麼用處，但那篇「當我老了」的小紙片從此以後會伴隨我……
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